Updated: Mar 8, 2021
A friendly reminder to check up your breast on a regular base. Breast cancer can happen to everyone. This video by Linda Hakeboom, an amazing woman, showes you how to do it and gives answers to a lot of unknown. The video is in Dutch.
Note: Although my rare cancer starts in the breast, it's not breast cancer. But I found it during a check up.
Updated: Mar 8, 2021
Emo breakdown
It's Tuesday morning and tomorrow chemo number 4. But this morning i'm getting the news of my CT scan. Just before chemo round 4 they planned a midway evaluation of the first 3 rounds of chemo. Did it do something? It's a heavy rainy day so we took the car to the hospital, just a few miles from home. But you can guess, totally stucked in traffic and my nerves kicked in. In a second I went from being calm, keeping the emotions relaxed, to a total Italian drama queen. That goes from screaming to every driver, taking over the claxon (so sorry darling) and than pointless hormonal crying. Nervous to get late at my appointment, but actually nervous for the results. Somehow in the next 10 minutes my husband managed to get the car parked, he did it, we're there!! Run run run...
Body breakdown
Running to the appointment...not so good idea when you didn't ate for 2 days (my fasten diet just before every chemo), having the shits and, ladies, the period. No, I don't feel ashamed sharing this, that time is over and the next few lines is the proof. Running caused a sudden prothesis movement and something snapped inside. Undefined pain. I was sure it was leaking. (Later it turned out to be a muscle, but with paralyzed nerves in that area, you're not sure what you feel). One track minded to get on time I was still running. In a busy hospital panting, still running, feeling my chest figuring out what happened, panting and screaming to my husband what just happened. Told you so, shame is gone. But we made it to my oncologist on time, whoop whoop. And of course, she was late...
The results
"You're doing great. The tumors are halved on average" said my oncologist. For this type of rare cancer it is amazing news. Red eyes, happy and so proud of myself. All the work: my 90% (i'm not holy) plantbased sugar free diet, the supplements, fasten diet, exercises and being positive and relaxed. I know I sound crazy, but shame is over. All measures based on research and research so the chemo has the best basic. Each measure has its own proven anti-cancer power. Maybe not killing power, but anti growth for sure. I believe that all this together, the accumulation, is the key.
I don't know how the final results are going to be. This positive midway result is no guarantee for the next 3 rounds. But today is beautiful and a huge motivation boost!!
Walking back to the car asking my husband why he's not as much celebrating this news as I am...he was still processing the first hour of the morning, all the theater...Oooo, we had a good laugh, we're having so much fun together...
Updated: Mar 8, 2021
My 4th chemo. Chemo taste in mouth, in my gut, everywhere.
I smell like chemo, disgusted, feeling it's getting heavier every chemo round. Trying to read, trying to eat, trying things, but getting restless and frustrated. Not sick, but just exhausted. Frustration is piling up. Stupid Corona, stupid lockdown. Come on, just put your make up on and go outside. Again, the chemo taste in mouth, in my gut, everywhere. Frustrations is going over in anger, in hate, every stupid complain on the radio and on tv. Nobody knows shit. Come on, just put your shoes on and go outside. Bumping into my husbund, yes, now I can trow my anger out on him. No, no no, this is not the way, You Go Outside. Shoes on. No, I'm too exhausted. YOU GIRL GO OUTSIDE.
Walking outside. Music in my ears, just some best of the '00. Breathing in and out, step by step. You did it girl. Life is beautiful.
@home again, taking shoes off, doorbell rang. My sweet neighbor with delish turkish food. This day is getting better and better.
Thank you for this day.
